TRYING TO AVOID THOSE WHO BRING THE WORST OUT IN YOU

One of the benefits of leading a more seclusive lifestyle, is minimising the opportunity for confrontational situations. There are of course issues that adopting this strategy presents. You may be viewed as isolationist by some in the community. You may also be viewed as a bit odd by some. However, maybe this is the lesser of two evils, namely, better that they view you this way, rather than they insist on making contact that is likely to result in confrontation and upset.

At this stage of the dementing process, while still living at home, the above avoidance is relatively easy for me to organise. In general, I have the freedom and ability to decide whether or not I come into with  individuals. However, for the dementing person in residential care or even attending day-care, it is not so easy for those persons to avoid contact with certain members of professional staff responsible for their care, who may have a similar affect on them. This is something that, unpalatable as it may be, caring professional staff, both medical and nursing, should consider.

It will not be easy for most doctors or nurses to be able accept that, in spite of their professional qualifications and experience, because of how they present themselves as individuals to the patient concerned, they will, in some instances, be more of a hinderance to the patient's well being, than help. I recall when my late father, an Alzheimer patient, was in the nursing home, shortly after admission, he used to react particularly badly in the presence of one senior nurse, namely the nursing home's Matron. She was just as caring as any other members of the nursing staff. However, possibly it was her accent and her voice, as opposed to what she said, that for whatever reason, he used to find disturbing. Fortunately, she quickly realised that this was the case. However, rather than letting any professional dignity or personal  pride stand in the way, she minimised her personal contact with my father, while at the same time keeping a very close watch on the provision of his care by the nursing staff responsible for his care. This was of course the correct action for her to take.

Increasingly, I experience situations where, for no apparent reason, I find it difficult to be able to put up with people, without reacting, sometimes inappropriately. However, I am able to try and avoid such situations, or people with whom I react badly. People who are receiving residential care, are not able to do so. An understanding and empathetic approach by the health professionals providing their care, is therefore essential. They should be made aware as part of their basic and ongoing professional education, that specifically with dementia patients, the scenario that something as simple as their accent, may possibly be the catalyst to unwittingly cause distress to their patient. When this is suspected, appropriate staff changes should be made.

A patient's well being must always take priority over a health professionals pride!

JSAFGA