Wednesday, 9 November 2011

HELPING YOUR CARER NOT TO WORRY

I choose this blog title today, as it is topical to me and my wife's (my carer) current situation. She goes into hospital tomorrow morning for an exploratory procedure that is usually undertaken on a day case basis, although the hospital have warned her that, as she is undergoing a general anaesthetic, she may have to remain in overnight. However, in view of her being my carer, she has been put first on the list, so they are hopeful she will be sufficiently recovered to come home later in the day. A good friend, who we jokingly refer to as "the carer's carer", is taking her and bringing her home. She is also meant to be keeping a watchful eye over my well being, while my wife is away.

This situation has highlighted a few issues posed from my perspective, regarding the acceptance / acknowledgement of the need to have someone officially nominated as my carer and the fact that it is considered that when they are temporarily unavailable, that someone else has to deputise. I know that logically this should be the case. However, logic does not always concur with raw emotion. To have to acknowledge that this type of watching cover is necessary, is not that easy to deal with in reality. The only reason I am trying my hardest to outwardly accept the arrangements made, is purely for my wife's sake, so that she will not be worried about me while she is in hospital, even if only for 24hours.

Of course I know and will acknowledge, when being completely honest, the risk elements that exist and make the necessity for this type of caring cover to be provided - Leaving pans on the cooker unattended and forgotten about, forgetting to take medication, dealing, sometimes inappropriately, with other people and upsetting them, difficulties sometimes experienced in dealing with phone calls. These are, unfortunately, some of the issues that make the arrangements above, necessary. The most important one of all, trying to relieve the burden of additional worry that my wife would otherwise  incur.

One of the most baffling aspects of dementia to me is that I can happily write a blog of this nature and many other pieces of writing, without any problem, while at the same time experiencing the above issues!

Dealing with these issues / frustrations as calmly as possible is an essential requirement, to ensure that both patient and carer experience "A Good Life With Dementia"!

JSAFGA     

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