RESPECT

Today's fog and mists have not clouded the thought processes, I am pleased to say. Out walking, I pondered the different responses I get from various individuals in the community in which I live, when I communicate with them and they with me. I am aware that what I say, or my reactions to what others say to me, will automatically influence their response and their view of me, as is the normal human response in the communication process.

The most significant issue of all, in the often complicated situation of communication, as far as I am currently concerned, is that of "respect". Respect is the basic ingredient with which every human being, of what ever age or state, has the right to be treated. This is of course a two way process. One cannot expect to be respected or treated with respect, unless one accords the same to others. However, I do appreciate that this is not always as easy to do, as one would hope. This is the case, whether dealing with young or old whether one is well or has some form of illness.

Unless an individual knows you well or knows about your current state, whatever that might be, there is the likelihood that their respect for you may be jeopardised by your statements, actions, or reactions, to them and / or situations in which they are involved with you. These may be social, professional contacts, or as members of the public in the course of day to day contacts. These reactions may be viewed as understandable / reasonable. However, they do still pose difficulties in respect of their affect on the degree of trust that one has in others and they in you. This in turn may affect the future quality of relationship and communication between the persons concerned.

Dementia adds an additional aspect of potential risk to the breakdown of respect between dementi and others. It's associated behavioural and social issues, may understandably lead to false opinions / assumptions regarding the person concerned. They may be considered to be less desirable, than previously, in social gatherings and often induce a perceived, if not real, patronising response from others. One has to admit, that this response is not surprising and probably not unreasonable. However, it does pose a serious risk to one's confidence and self respect. This, in turn, risks a desire for the protection of  increased isolation. I suspect that this scenario applies just as much in the daycare or residential care settings, as it does for individuals still living in the community.

So, what is the solution to the issues I raise in this blog. Firstly, I do not think there is a "one fits all" solution. The situation is complex, as are the responses and interactions between all parties involved. However, on further reflection, it certainly could help, if people like myself, with dementia, made as great an effort as possible, while we are still able, to behave in such a way that the frequency of occurrence of these problems are minimised. In addition, it could also be helpful, if the general public, carers, both formal and informal, health care professionals and social care professionals, were better educated in aspects of this topic. This could then lead to a greater understanding of the benefits to all concerned of the importance and significance of "respect".   

JSAFGA