Yesterday we had a pre-arranged visit from a longstanding friend, who together with Lynne, his now deceased wife, had been friends of my wife and myself since our teenage years. Lynne had been a bridesmaid at our wedding 42 years ago. We arrange to meet up about three times a year. These meetings were always in the past joyous and fun filled days and now continue to be with Clive, even though Lynne is no longer with us.
I mention the above, as these visits have always been for me, what I can only describe as "safe". Now what do I mean by "safe"? Safe in so far as there is no feeling of anxiety prior or during our time together. I consider them to be times of complete acceptance of each individual present, treating each other as we always have done, with openness,honesty and loving care. This is not to say that when other people visit some of those elements will not also be present, to a greater or lesser degree. However, we have always been able to accept each other as we are at the time on the day in question - no judgements , no directions, just acceptance of how we are and where we are at on that particular day. This make the company of these people joyous, non judgemental and non stress inducing.
I find it is now best to have, what I consider, a small number of quality friends, rather than a large number of friends. This may be a bit of an isolationist approach, however, it is one with which I consider most fulfilling. This does not of course rule out the acquaintanceship of other people either in the community where one lives or elsewhere. However, the problem I find with interaction with this category of person, is that there is a far greater risk of upsetting them and misunderstandings arising - not necessarily their fault, sometimes mine, nevertheless, problematical all the same.
So, today, I am definitely of the opinion that, for me, and possibly for others, the safest and most productive way forward, is to enjoy the company of those, whose company I enjoy.
JSAFGA
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