THOUGHTS AS THE NEW YEAR APPROACHES

Another New Year approaches this coming weekend. What does it have in store for all of us. Personally, I do not look forward to it in trepidation or with a sense of either elation or expectation. I find, even more so these days, to be able, in my head, to be prepared to experience the unexpected. I have no use for planning too far ahead or creating unnecessary expectations of oneself or of others. A life of unrealistic expectations will only disappoint and frustrate. One must not have unrealistic expectations of oneself, nor for that matter, of others understanding of you. One cannot have a full understanding of how, when or where the dementing journey will lead, or the pace at which significent milestones will be reached. This need not be disconcerting, if one is able and prepared to "go with the flow". To follow this approach may help avoid  or at least reduce the personal impact on reaching different stages of the condition's progress.

Having said the above, while at one level I believe the above laid back approach applies to myself, there are in fact major contradictions in reality. If I am so philosphical and calm about future events etc, then why does the slightest alteration to arrangements on a day to day basis seem to agitate me so. Interestingly, I find these relatively minor adaptations difficult to handle. I find, increasingly, I rely on the certainty, reliability and concreteness of arrangements and what people say. A black and white, certain, approach to matters, I find far more reassuring and easier to cope with, than more flexible arrangements. I have an increasing need and expectancy of individuals to say what they mean and therefore to mean what they say. Elements of social niceties, I find, increasingly, difficult  to maintain. These relate mainly to responding to what other individuals may have said. For example, if I suspect someone has said something for effect, rather than what they truly mean / believe, then I find it difficult not to say so.

My immediate family, including my young adult grandchildren, have adapted magnificenly to the slight and in some cases the apparently discernable personality changes that have taken place in the past few years. This a source of great comfort, knowing that I can continue to be totally relaxed and be myself in their company. This has been particularly important during the recent festive period.

HAPPY 2012
JSAFGA