MAKING THE MOST OF THE NOW

The uncertainty of a long-term progressive condition, of indeterminable length and an unquantifiable speed of progression, presents one with the necessity to consider various options on how to deal with the situation. In my case, I was fortunate that dementia was diagnosed, as far as I can recall, only a few weeks before my wife and I were due to leave Wales, to move to our current home in the Peak District in England. We had, only a few months prior, decided to move away from the area, where we had spent nearly 30 years of our professional working lives. Now we were going back to our roots, nearer to the area we had left in 1977.

We had agreed that, under the circumstances, we would sooner make the enforced fresh start of early retirement in the countryside, in a village where we were not known to anyone. This move has proved to have been most beneficial for a  number of reasons. These include the initial anonimity, which avoided the stress associated with necessarily coming into contact with former colleagues and other persons from our respective professional and social circle and endless explanations as to the why and wherefore that our lives had changed so dramatically plus the well meant, yet unhelpful, comiserations.

We have been able, during this past four years, to settle in as members of a small village community, without the stresses and expectations of us, associated with life in Wales. We managed to do this initially by not informing anyone we were leaving and then only informing three or four close friends on the morning we departed. We new that from here on in we had to put ourselves first and that any upset that others might have, at not being informed we were moving or where we were going to, would have to be for them to deal with, as we had our own issues with which to cope!!

This was the start of the Making the Most of the Now. We now had to focus on dealing with this new phase in our life and having only recently received this latest item of medical luggage, we couldn't and were not prepared, to fit items of anyone else's in our Life's suitcase at that time. There are one or two individuals who still consider it was unreasonable that we did not say goodbye. However, I view that as their problem and hopefully, one day, they may resolve it, for themselves!!

When living on the coast in Wales, among the hobbies I particularly enjoyed were, sailing and fishing. Both these activities were governed by the changing tides. In analogous terms, I associate my dementia with the tide. High water was the day prior to diagnosis and fortunately, as far as my mental capacity at that time was concerned, it was a Spring tide, i.e. the highest of the year. It has, during the past few years, turned and is slowly retreating.

Often, when fishing from the shore, the largest fish are caught just as the tide turns and starts to go out. I am making the most of this exciting time, undertaking mental fishing, mainly through writing and meditation, and exercise, while out walking with Blossom over the meadows. I thank God that I have been given the opportunity to be able to undertake these pursuits, that are enabling me to "MAKE THE MOST OF THE NOW".

I am, as with other dementiates, only able to be "MAKING THE MOST OF THE NOW", because I have a loving, supportive, caring, wife on whom to rely.

JSAFGA