Having experienced the development of a, less than tranquil transitional period, during the past few weeks, I considered it necessary to arrange an extended appointment, for a one to one discussion, with my GP the other day. It was the first appointment I have arranged with him, specifically, to discuss the dementing state, outside of my annual, general health, review.
It was a satisfactory consultation from my point of view. He did all the listening! It provided an important opportunity to update the GP on developments, from my perspective. Arrangements for professional counselling sessions, should I consider it appropriate at anytime, are now being undertaken. This backup facility, I have been considering requesting for sometime. Knowing that it will be available, should I wish to avail of it, is a great help.
There has been an increasing sense of an erosion of independence and reduction in one's ability to be in charge of one's destiny. Some of this has been real and some has, possibly, been more perception than reality. Being independent and even more importantly, in charge of one's destiny, is extremely important. I wish the same to apply, as far as is practically possible, at all the remaining developmental stages of my life. This is possible even within the confines of a residential care facility. Although not always the case, in these establishments, the emphasis should be on ascertaining and as far as possible, meeting, the needs of the cared for, as opposed to the needs / convenience of the organisation.
A sense of being misunderstood and misunderstanding others, is a complicated business, with which one has to deal. It is a challenging and complex business, under normal circumstances, yet even more complex now, at a time when keeping things uncomplicated and clear are essential to maximising function ability. In order to avoid the dangers of complexity, it is necessary to seek out individuals who have the ability and adaptability to "talk straight" and who I can know of you that you will "say what you mean and mean what you say". This is far more important now, than it was a couple of years ago. There is a risk, of which there have been a couple, of unfortunate incidents, where I have considered it necessary to tell individuals to do so. In social situations, this understandly, from their "normal" perspective, is considered "ungracious". Yes, that may be the case. However, I no longer, always receive or perceive things that people say and do, in the same way as I may have in the past. This applies to family, friends and strangers and therefore it is not that one group is singled out for special treatment, be it good or bad!
HOW TO DEAL WITH THIS IN A POSITIVE, PROBLEM SOLVING, MANNER?
a. Avoid, as far as practically possible, people (the number seems to increase) who you know seem to present such difficulties.
b. Find one or two individuals (they may be small in number) who you know do not present these problems.
c. Try and develop strategies for dealing with such situations, without causing offence.
d. Try and remind yourself that there was a time in the past when these individuals would not have seemed to present such difficulties for you. It is not that they who have changed - Accept, it is you that has changed! Nevertheless, don't beat yourself up about it. If the battery is losing it's power, you cant expect the light to shine so brightly!
JSAFGA
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